Hi! I’m back! Really back, not like last week where I wasn’t really back but I was blogging anyway because my head was bursting at the seams from all the input the world was forcing upon me. I’m gonna be making a few changes which I’ll explain another time but rest assured that I will still try to be funny. I’ll probably fail but whatev. It’s my blog. I can suck at being funny if I want to.
Today I want to ask what you’re doing tomorrow. Car pool? Uh-huh. Vacuuming? Mmm-hmmm. Eating your kids’ Halloween candy while they’re at school? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ok, yeah, that’s all going to happen no matter what I say but I have one thing to add to your list and you’re not allowed to complain or make excuses or stop reading my blog because I’m telling you what to do: YOU HAVE TO VOTE!
Yes, you do. You do! And here’s why: the 19th Amendment to the Constitution, the one that gave women the right to vote, is only 90 years old. That means that when my grandmother was born, she couldn’t vote, and not just because she wasn’t 18 yet. Her mother couldn’t vote. I think the only women who could vote at that moment in history lived in Wyoming, which was maybe the only state progressive enough to realize that women don’t suck.
You don’t suck, do you? Of course you don’t!
When I think about the fact that women have been allowed to vote for less than half the life of our democracy, it makes me want to go camp out overnight at my polling place so I can be the first in line to vote on election day. I want to say to the volunteer pollworkers “I’m here to VOTE, mamma-jamma! I’ma REPRESENT for the laaayyyyy-diiiieeeessss!!!!”
It’s possible that I was throwing gang signs at my computer while I wrote that last part.
The point is, and I’m serious about this, the point is that women only a few generations ago fought for us to be allowed to vote. They sat in jail after being arrested trying to cast ballots. I’m sure they were called all sorts of horrible names, belittled, mocked, abused, and ignored in their quest to get us the right to vote. I want to cry just thinking about it. I want to find the ghost of Susan B. Anthony and kiss her on the mouth.
I know getting to the polls when you’re busy is hard but think about how much harder it would to get to the polls if you were statutorily banned from doing so. WAY harder, I promise. So pay homage to our suffragette sisters and pull that lever, baby! And if getting out to vote means you have to skip vacuuming or folding laundry, well, it’s ok. Women have worked too hard to be allowed to do something other than cooking and cleaning to let the cooking in cleaning get in the way.
And afterwards you can celebrate by eating your kids’ Halloween candy.