This weekend involved no major adventures unless you count trying to convince a toddler to sit still at a brunch where six adults were all discussing the mid-term Congressional elections. I’d recount the conversation but I wasn’t paying any attention to it. I was reading a book about cement mixers to C. to try and keep him at the table. So, instead of writing about that, I’m going to address the Myth of Doing It All.
Recently, another blogger complimented me on my ability to balance home, family, work and blogging. And my immediate response was “Hold the phone, lady! You think I’m balancing all of that stuff? You need glasses so you can look closer at the large pile of jettisoned responsibilities behind me.”
I don’t do it all. Hell, I don’t even TRY to do it all. Instead, I do a finely-tuned combination of what I absolutely NEED to do and what I want to do. Anything else? Lives permanently on the back burner.
Let’s take this weekend for example. Here’s what I did:
- Grocery shopping
- Visited with my dad who was in town
- Took C. to his tiny tots sports class
- Watched the Preakness on tv while eating cheeseburgers with my dad, grandfather, husband, and son
- Played baseball in the backyard with C.
- Fed baby geese with C. and my dad.
- Did the load of my laundry that’s been on the basement floor since last weekend
- Made out with my husband who left on a work trip Sunday morning
What I didn’t do:
- Changing sheets
- Mopping the kitchen floor
- Reading either of the two books I’m supposed to be blogging about
So, I live in a dusty house where the denizens eat take-out and my blog is going to be boring as hell but the baby geese in my neighborhood? Have bellies full of bread and my son knows his mother would rather play with him than fold clean clothes.
There is no woman alive who can Do It All. Or if there is, I don’t want her within a mile of my house because I’d get so annoyed with her that I’d trip her. And then I’d be failing at being a good example for my son as well as letting him live in a house that’s totally covered in a fine dusting of cat hair.
Most of us, I think, are doing what we can. We take care of our kids and our spouses, we do our paying jobs so we can put hot dogs and Goldfish on the table, we sneak out for the occasional pedicure for the sake of our own sanity, and if we’re smart, we don’t sweat that our solution to running out of clean undies is to pick up new ones when we go to Target.
Now, I’m not going to lie to you. I have it damn easy. Because I married a Great Guy. He is honestly doing 50% of what gets done around here and never gives me grief abut what isn’t getting done. I don’t know what I’d do if I had a husband who insisted on the towels being folded a certain way or complained about a constant diet of frozen spanikopita from Trader Joe’s. I would not be able to hold my schmidt together if I didn’t have a partner who bathed our toddler, washed his own boxers, and did the dishes after the spanikopita is cleared away. This all after working 50-hour weeks at a demanding job of his own.
Hey. HEY! What are you grabbing at? Are you trying to get your hands on my husband? Back, off ladies, he is MINE. Jeez.
Look, life isn’t easy. Motherhood isn’t easy. Taking care of a home isn’t easy. Working out of the house isn’t easy. It’s all hard and taken altogether, it’s frankly impossible to do it all. My solution? Screw the laundry for an hour and go feed some baby geese. Because the laundry will be there later. But the baby geese and your kids will grow up and you’ll never regret the time you give to them.
I hear ya. I don’t know how anyone gets ANYTHING done. You amaze me with that list of stuff you got done. My list consists of “Got out of bed.” Yep. Check. Did that. The rest? Only done because the in-laws came in town and watched the baby so Husband and I could go to the movies and the grocery store.
I second that. I have 3 kids and work full time. (Yes you read that right, 4 1/2 year old twins and a 5 month old) and there is NO WAY I get it all done. So if the dishes don’t get done because my 4 1/2 year old son wants to ride his scooter outside before bedtime, guess what I am doing?? Certanily not the dishes! My one saving grace that I will not give up is my cleanig people. They come bi-weekly and they are worth every penny. The only thing they don’t do is laundry.
Well said. Some days I wonder how I manage to brush my teeth. Love the new look momma!
Great Post! I had my first Major Mommy Meltdown involving sobbing in front of my church yesterday. I emailed my friends who replied with great responses and support along with their own meltdown stories, including one who had her meltdown over her 30 year old son!
We have some neighbors I nicknamed The Goldens because they live their lives like a Norman Rockwell Painting. My son and I got booted off of their list of friends when my son was 4 because he/me/we did not live up to their potential I guess. Dad works, Mom is the perfect Stay At Home, children are Citizens of the Months and make straight As. BLECK!
Your husband sounds amazing – you’re right to try and beat women away!
Amen sister. I think we’re all doing the best we can. So keep up the good work – raising a good kid, giving good love to your man, and the excellent blogging. I’m a fan. Screw the husband and the laundry! Cheers!
Thank you for that-I feel so much better knowing I am not the only one with lists that get put on the back burner. I am also blessed with a husband who does his fair share +. I have a 20 year old daughter, and have regrets-should have put more on the back burner while she was little 🙁
I just wish we had Trader Joe’s in Colorado to get that Spanikopita! Love reading your blog…there’s always so much I can relate to!
I loathe the laundry. Hate. I see no point in doing it except for that pesky need to be clean. I’m pretty impressed with what you got done and the lack of guilt you feel for not doing the laundry. My house looks like a tornado right now and I’m ok with it as long as no one sees it.
I have one of those hubbies too! If mine didn’t cook and pick up the slack I’d be mumbling to myself like a bag lady. Although the bag WOULD be Kate Spade.
Amen to that! I actually folded the clean clothes that have been on top of the dryer for the last two weeks this weekend. Plus, when faced with the decision of playing with my absolutely adorable 8 month old or folding laundry, who can blame me? I too am super lucky to have a hubby that doesn’t give me grief about the household stuff getting done.
Yahoo! Laundry sucks! Dog hair be damned! I didn’t shower today but screw it! We’re going to the park! Obviously, I love your attitude. And obviously, your blog is not boring.
Why thank you! I am drowning in a sea of stress over the state of my house (could the fact that my mom, whose house wouldn’t DARE get dirty, is coming to visit on Saturday have anything to do with that?) and it’s messing with my head.
In general, I try to live by this motto: If no one is going naked or hungry and the house is not a danger to any of the people or animals (the invited ones) in it? S’all good. My mother’s standards be damned!