What I DON’T Watch

So, I guess there was another Bachelor finale. A guy proposed to a girl he picked out of a line-up, like a cross between the Moonlight Bunny Ranch and a Russian mail-order bride operation. And I guess she said yes because she doesn’t equate marriage with dignity. Or something.

I mean, let’s be real about this phenomenon. It’s totally fucked up. Imagine if the progression of the Bachelor was happening to a friend of yours. The emails would read a little like this:

Hey!  Met the cutest guy! He’s really nice but he’s seeing 15 other girls. Not sure how this is ging to turn out.

Still seeing that guy. He dumped some of his girlfriends and keeps giving me roses. I think he likes me!

So, the guy wants to meet my family but he’s still seeing about three other girls and he wants to meet their families, too. Keep your fingers crossed that he likes my family best. Mom’s making lasagna!

I’m engaged! He dumped the last girl he was seeing right in front of me and then proposed! I’m thinking September wedding!

You would be considering committing your friend at this point, right? And you’d be telling her that the guy sounded like a total sleaze, if not an outright sociopath. NOTHING, and I mean nothing, about the Bachelor and the Bachelorette is normal, healthy, commendable, or even sane.  It’s practically prostitution.

I’ve heard people talk about this latest round of the Bachelor, gleefully talking about the indiosyncracies of each of the women and recounting the each episode’s crazy highlights. The players all sounded like fame whores who were willing to parade around like trick ponies – and even screw around with some guy while mic’ed up – to get their moment on camera. That sort of behavior is so disturbing to me. First of all, does no one have any reverence for the institution of marriage at all or is marriage one of those things that’s been sold out for ratings? Because half of what’s on tv seems to be about someone trying to get married in a lavish and eye-catching way. You think I’m joking? I was watching Say Yes To The Dress and saw a woman buying a $24,000 dress.  CARS cost less than that.

Second of all, why is being famous, or at least momentarily notorious, so damn appealing? Is it the money? Is it the VIP treatment at clubs? Is it getting free shit from designers to wear on a red carpet? Is it the idea that it will lead to better things? I don’t think it ever does. I don’t know of any famous Bachelor reject girls, except the ones who ended up on the Bachelorette. So what is the appeal? I just don’t get it.

And you all already know what I’m going to say about any of these Bachelor/Bachelorette people who have kids right? You don’t really need to me to go off on a massive rant about how fucking bad a role model you are to your kid if you whore yourself out like that on national tv? Yeah, you figured I was going there. You know I think kids and realty tv are a terrible mix, in any combination.

Look I know some people will say that I have no credibility on judging this show because I refuse to watch it. But I don’t watch dogfighting either and I feel pretty safe in saying it’s animal cruelty. I think the entire Bachelor franchise is shameful and sets feminism back decades. Women should refuse to be on it on principle.  Too bad fame trumps principles.