Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop: With Friends Like These…


This week, Mama Kat wants me to consider the plight of my friends who don’t have kids. Only I don’t have a lot of friends without kids. Because, um, I have a kid and that makes me uninteresting to people without kids.

1.) A list of things you no longer have in common with your single/childless friends…and why you love them anyways.

Why We’re Different: They go to movies.

Why I Love Them: They tell me about movies!

Why We’re Different: They can stay up late enough to watch The Daily Show.

Why I Love Them: They tell me about The Daily Show!

Why We’re Different: They read provocative profiles of important people in magazines like Vanity Fair.

Why I Love Them: They tell me about…ok, I just need to admit I get all my knowledge second-hand from people who don’t have kids, don’t I?

Why We’re Different: They can drink more than one glass of wine without falling asleep.

Why I Love Them: They tuck me in when I fall asleep after one glass of wine.

Why We’re Different: They have cute new clothes.

Why I Love Them: They don’t look at my pityingly when I get really excited about a rare new shoe purchase and compliment the shoes when I point them out to them.

Why We’re Different: They don’t know who Fireman Sam is.

Why I Love Them: They don’t know who Fireman Sam is.

Why We’re Different: They don’t spew all the backed-up cuss words that have been pressing against their mental barricades the minute they’re away from little ears.

Why I Love Them: They will overlook my gratuitous cussing as an adorable personality quirk and not a sign that I’ve become bitter and angry.

Why We’re Different: They cook and eat nice dinners from fresh ingredients.

Why I Love Them: Actually, I’m incredibly envious of anyone who can come home from work, cook a leisurely meal that contains no hot dogs, and eat it in a civilized manner, at a decent hour, and with appropriate conversation that doesn’t feature Fireman Sam.

Why We’re Different: They don’t have juice boxes in their purses.

Why I Love Them: They don’t judge the juice boxes (and Matchbox cars and handy wipes and snack cups and…) in my purse.

Why We’re Different: They don’t know the locations of every miniature train in Montgomery County.

Why I Love Them: Someday. They will have kids. And they will come to see me as an oracle who can tell them the location of every miniature train in Montgomery County.

Why We’re Different: They get regular mani-pedis and have their hair professionally colored.

Why I Love Them: OK, yeah, they can fuck right off with their pretty nails and hair, ok? They’re just mocking me now.

Mama's Losin' It

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6 comments for “Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop: With Friends Like These…

  1. peggey
    September 9, 2010 at 10:44 am

    Is it wrong that I’m laughing at you just a little bit? 😉 I’m only laughing because I pioneered the “mommie with single friends” road, didn’t I?

  2. September 9, 2010 at 11:43 am

    Oh, sister woman. I feel you. This is why I don’t have childless friends. Oh. Wait. I DO have childless friends. This is why I am seething with jealousy.

  3. KLZ
    September 9, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    Why don’t salons have daycares? I mean, that’s just a business waiting to happen right there.

  4. September 9, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    Hahahaha.. I love your post! 🙂 Makes me understand a little more why it’s hard to get in with the mommy crowd when you don’t have a baby … 🙂 Though I carry toys in my purse for my niece..
    Stopped in from Mama Kat’s..

  5. September 9, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Love it! I want to be an oracle of advice one day… and um get pedicures again… *sigh*

  6. September 10, 2010 at 8:20 pm

    I totally can relate and I love your list. Especially the shoes. I do allow myself a pedicure at the beginning and end of the summer! I don’t know who Fireman Sam is???

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