Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop: My Wedding


Yeee-hawww!  It’s Thursday so, once again, I’m letting Mama Kat pick my topic for me.  This one is a good one!

2.) If you could do your wedding over, how would you do it?

First of all,  I considered vlogging about this topic and put it out for a vote on Facebook and Twitter.  I was surprised to learn that more people wanted a blog than a vlog.  I am preferring to think it’s because you all have a deep reverence for the written word and not that you don’t want to look at my scary after-work face with the smeared make-up and crazy hair.

So, anyway, my wedding.  My wedding was awesome-tastic!  I’m sure everything thinks that about their wedding but mine really was.  The Great Guy I Married and I were pretty much on the same page when it came to what we wanted out of a wedding, namely, to be married at the end of it. The budget never became a point of contention because my mother (who is herself awesome-tastic) wrote us a check and that was our budget. Neither my parents nor his came at this event with any preconceived notions so they were perfectly happy with everything we did.  Even though most of it in no way resembled a traditional wedding.

Let’s start with my dress.  Which was short.  And pink. And I’ll tell you why.  My husband has always liked me in pink, though I’m not sure he has ever been fully conscious of it. Whenever I wear pink, he compliments me.  So, when I went shopping for a dress, I went with pink because I knew he liked it. It was short and had a somewhat retro 60’s feeling because that’s a style I like and it’s flattering to me.  And it’s quite similar to my mom’s wedding dress which was also short and had a 60’s vibe but she was actually married in the 60’s so that makes way more sense.

My husband wore a custom made suit that he got from a guy who’s made suits for about half a dozen Presidents.  Hells to the yeah!  He looked hot in it too.

Our wedding ceremony took place in a small room at All Souls Unitarian Church with only our close family present. That’s right.  There were only about a dozen people in the room when we took our vows.  It was intimate and lovely. But here’s where I would make a change: I would do more to include our parents in the ceremony.  Our siblings were our wedding party but our parents had no real role because there was no processional.  I’m not sure what I would do to loop them in, maybe a reading or a piece of music dedicated to them, but we should have done something.

After our wedding, we trekked out to a steakhouse for a dinner as a family.  Imagine a small rehearsal dinner kind of vibe: that’s what our wedding dinner was like.  It was really great.  It gave our families a chance to get to know each other in a relaxed setting, something which could have been difficult as my in-laws and my husband’s half-brothers are deaf.  We had an interpreter for the ceremony but she didn’t come to dinner so it was left to my husband and sister-in-law to translate and the smaller group was better for that.

(Um, you’re wondering why these photos are clearly not professional, aren’t you?  I have great photos but…yeah…I packed them someplace secure when we moved and I don’t remember where that is right now.  Sorry!)

After dinner my husband and I had a room at the Willard Hotel and Oh. My. God.  Everyone should have a room at the Willard for their wedding night.  What a great hotel.  Stately and elegant, there were champagne and strawberries in the room and we had in room dining service the following morning.  Breakfast was rolled in on a car with linens and real china and silver and the food was produced from a warming cabinet before the table and set our for us.   It was the fanciest room service meal I’ve ever had. The whole thing was a  perfect wedding night and morning after.

The following day we had our reception.  I know.  It’s weird.  We split our wedding and our reception up by 24 hours but trust me when I say it was great. We were rested, happy, and ready to party that day.  After the wedding ceremony, I was in a daze and couldn’t have enjoyed a party as much.  We found a fantastic venue in Georgetown with a top-notch kitchen and décor like a 1920’s nightclub and we rented the whole place out. We invited friends and extended family for a good meal, good company, and good wine.  We agreed that what we always like best about wedding is the opportunity to catch up with people you don’t see often and we didn’t want to do anything that would interrupt people’s enjoyment of a good time with good company.  So there were no speeches.  No ceremonial dances.  No throwing flowers or removing garters.  Instead, we spent an evening with a lot of people who we really love, talking, drinking and laughing.  We made children welcome so there were great moments like finding my godson eating cake at the bar with two of my husband’s co-workers.  Our families got to meet friends of ours they’d only heard about and our friends got to see one another, sometimes for the first time in years. The food was amazing, the wine was good and the cake was a tribute to my hometown: it was a Wegman’s sheet cake because I grew up in Rochester, the birthplace of Wegman’s. It was an awesome party.

But here’s the other big thing I’d change: I’d have cut my husband off way earlier in the evening because he was stinkin’ drunk at the end.  Like, on-the-bathroom-floor-all-night drunk.  Yeah. Sexy. But, at least it wasn’t our wedding night; it was just the end of a great party.

All told, I’m still happy with the way we did our wedding.  It reflected who we were, not something out of a magazine. It brought together the people we care about the most to celebrate our marriage in the city we call home. And it doesn’t get any better than that.

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17 comments for “Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop: My Wedding

  1. May 27, 2010 at 8:46 am

    Visiting from Mama Kats…

    First of all, love the dress!
    Second of all, splitting up the ceremony and reception is genius.
    And it sounds like you stayed true to yourself and didn’t have to face parental interference (which I think is the number 1 cause of not so great weddings) … a giant plus. But yeah … the stinking drunk part is kind of downer!

  2. May 27, 2010 at 8:56 am

    That sounds so fun!!! You and your hubs sound like good people. When are we getting together, again? 🙂

  3. May 27, 2010 at 8:57 am

    That sounds absolutely kick arse.

    What a special and wonderful event. And you look radiant.

  4. May 27, 2010 at 9:01 am

    First of all, I love your wedding dress. And your wedding sounds beautiful, I’m glad it turned out exactly how you wanted it!

  5. May 27, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Love your dress! It is always nice to hear about those who loved that day 🙂

    Sounds awesome-tastic!

  6. May 27, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    I really like that dress, it’s very understated and gorgeous! I love the idea of splitting it all up! We had a big wedding but an even bigger reception. I was a firm believer the reception is the biggest part. The wedding ceremony takes 20 minutes and is easily forgotten but people who travel a long ways and/or haven’t seen one another in a long time deserve a great party to catch up! I was the drunk one at our reception! I didn’t puke or anything like that but I was pretty blasted and dumped a drink on my MIL, ruined her outfit! It was not good! I wish I’d have thought of splitting it all up! We did open our gifts the next day at my mom’s house and I would have loved to have skipped that part given my hangover! 🙂

  7. May 27, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    I think this is fabulous! I recently married my long-time boyfriend last month & we were similarly non-traditional. While I would do a few things a little differently in retrospect, we had a lot of fun & felt truly in love during the ceremony. It was the 2nd walk down the aisle for me, so I know the difference between a good wedding & a bad one (I’ve now had 1 of each). More people need to break free from tradition & do what really makes them happy, IMHO. 🙂

  8. KLZ
    May 27, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    I am forever jealous of this wedding.

    That may be because mine was riddled with feuding relatives. If there had been a fountain it could have been an episode of Dynasty.

  9. May 27, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    At my wedding before my brother gave me away, I had a song played for my mother, Wind Beneath My Wings. She had no idea it was coming. I’m pretty sure the whole church was in tears by the end.

  10. May 27, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Aw! Sometimes I wish Husband and I had kept things a little more simple, but I love to put on a show. We’d also been legally married for six months by the time we had our ceremony though, so even though it was big, we were pretty relaxed.

    Your.Dress.Was.So.Pretty!

  11. May 27, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    That dress was amazing! And I love your wedding – it sounds fantastic. Mine was not much about me or my husband, so I kind of want to renew our vows or something. Or maybe I should just let it go.

  12. May 27, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    You look so purtiful in your pink dress! I love the idea of having the reception the next day, it would have made for a more enjoyable reception. Sometimes I wish we had planned a smaller wedding instead of having 250 guests! What were we thinking?!

  13. liz
    May 27, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    i love that your dress was pink! and that you had such amazing venues! jealous!

  14. Peg
    May 27, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Stopping by from Mama Kat’s. Loved everything about your wedding. The pink dress and the fact that you split up the wedding and reception? GENIUS! More people should think of that!

  15. May 27, 2010 at 9:58 pm

    Great story! And I LOVE your dress – classic.

  16. May 28, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    Your wedding sounds lovely. My sister is getting married this fall and she is trying to simultaneously do the small intimate wedding thing with all the traditions of the big wedding thing. She called me to ask if she should do the garter thing (No!!) and I said, “Who is your husband going to throw your garter, too? Dad? Uncle Steve?” I wish she would just keep it small like yours. It would be lovely to just celebrate her wedding without all the drama.

    Love the pink dress, btw.

  17. May 29, 2010 at 1:30 am

    Gorgeous!! I really don’t think you can go wrong with a wedding to a man you love so much. But you definitely did things right!

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