I just heard that Brett Favre could earn as much as $20,000,000 to play football this season. Twenty. Million. Dollars. To throw a ball. That got me thinking. What would $20,000,000 buy? 100,000 pap smears 10,000,000 school lunches 400 annual…
Category: Letters to Famous People
Memo To Dina Lohan
Memorandum From: Mother Resources Department, Mom-hood Inc. To: Dina Lohan Date: August 16, 2010 Re: Job Performance Mrs. Lohan: It has come to our attention that your performance as a Mom has not been reaching expected levels of competence. While…
Letter to First Lady Michelle Obama
This week is kicking my ass so instead of new content, I’m bringing back this gem I wrote for DC Metro Moms back in May. Enjoy! *** Dear Mrs. Obama, I know I’m kind of late welcoming you to town…
Advice Guru to the Stars, Right Here!
WELL! It appears that I am replacing Dr. Phil as the go-to source for celebrity advice. Oh yes. It’s true. Exhibit A: Last week I wrote a scathing letter to Kourtney Kardashian in which I informed her in no uncertain…
Letter to Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston
Dear Bristol and Levi, Jeez, you poor kids never stood a chance did you? Let’s set aside recent history. The US Magazine cover story that took the place of a personal announcement to your families of your reconciliation. The erupting…
Almost Famous
Well! This week has been so fabulous that it requires its own wrap up! First, an update on the status of the Kendra Wilkinson book quest: Her agent gave me the name of a publicist…who did not handle Kendra’s book…
Letter to Kourtney Kardashian
Dear Kourtney, Girl. Get. The fuck. Away. From Scott. Listen. Lady, I’ve watched your shows for a long time. I’ve watched Scott survive a bunch of near-misses where he appeared to be cheating but had an excuse, when he was…
The On-Going Quest for Kendra Wilkinson’s Book
So, as some of you read last week, I am trying to get a free copy of Kendra Wilkinson’s memoir because I really, really want to read about Playboy Mansion orgies so that I can tell all of you about…
Letter to Kendra’s Publisher
This wild ride is continuing, folks. I just sent the message you see below to Simon and Schuster, the publishing house that put out Kendra’s worthy little tome. They don’t really want requests like that through the comments webform so…
Follow Up To Kendra’s Agent
I didn’t hear back from Brian out there in LA so I sent him a follow up email (see below). I’m beginning to think Brian doesn’t really like me. Or maybe he’s just the wrong guy to go to when…
