Dear Hef, Congratulations! You’re getting married! You must be overwhlemed with joy! This is an exciting event in the life of a young ma-. Oh. Right. Not young. But it’s still exciting! Marriage isn’t the province of the young, after…
Category: Letters to Famous People
Operation Kardashian: Part Three
As many of you know, Kardashian Konfidential comes out next week and the Pulitzer Committee is probably sharpening its pencils to cast ballots for it as the greatest work of literature of 2010. Or perhaps they just want to correct…
Letter to Spencer Pratt:
Dear Spencer, You’re fired from being human. Here’s why. This quote, right here: “The divorce was real – just the idea behind it was different than most people’s,” Spencer tells Life & Style. “Divorcing was the only way to keep…
Operation Kardashian Take 2
A couple of weeks ago, I sent a letter to the publicity department of the publishing house that producing the upcoming book Kardashian Konfidential. I want this book. A lot. Moreover I want this book for free because I’m sure…
Letter to Brett Favre
Dear Brett, Hi. Hows it going? What’s new? Have you given any thought to the list of things I came up with that you could do with your wildly inflated salary? No? Well, you should think about some of those.…
Commence “Operation Kardashian”
The Kardashian sisters have a book coming out in November. If you are a legitimate writer with, you know, talent, I’ll give you a minute to pull yourself out of the pit of despair you have undoubtedly fallen into. OBVIOUSLY…
Letter to Tori Spelling
Dear Tori, I feel like we’ve become close in recent months, what with me reading your books and watching the most recent season of Tori & Dean. In fact, I just read you latest book Uncharted TerriTori over the weekend…
A Letter to Hollywood
Dear Hollywood: Why are you so boring? Listen, Hollywood, you’re killing me. I’m a mom blogger. A working mom blogger, at that. My life is not interesting. Sure, I have my moments when I stagger onto the metro, weighted down…
Letter to the New York Jets
Dear New York Jets: I hope every single one of you got a call from your mother this week where she said that she’s ashamed of you and that she didn’t raise you to act like that. You know what…
Letter to That Plastic Sugeon Who Drove Off A Cliff
Dear Dr. Frank Ryan, You are probably reading this blog from the afterlife which means there is Wifi in the afterlife. That is excellent news as it means there are also blogs in the afterlife. Who needs an afterlife if…
