Gay Cake: A Play In Two Acts


Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Act I

Setting: A bakery somewhere in Indiana. A woman is behind the counter, tidying up. Two men enter.

Woman: Hello! What can I do for you?

Man 1: Well, we’re in the market for a wedding cake. The one you did for my cousin Sue’s wedding was perfect!

Woman: Excellent! Here’s an order form for all the information about dates and times. Do you and your future wife know what flavor you’d like or should we schedule a tasting?

Man 2: Future husband.

Woman: What?

Man 2: He’s marrying me.

Woman: Oh. (pauses) I’m a Christian.

Man 1: Ok.

Woman: I’m a Christ follower.

Man 2: Yeah, us too. We go to the Episcopal Church. That’s where we’re getting married.

Woman: No, I mean I’m a Christian. I don’t believe in gay marriage.

Man 1: (slowly) Ok.

Woman: I can’t provide a cake for a gay wedding. I refuse to be a party to sin.

Man 1: You made a cake for my cousin Sue.

Woman: What?

Man 1: Sue was divorced. It was her second wedding. You made the cake.

Woman: I don’t see your point.

Man 2: Isn’t divorce a sin?

Woman: Look, I don’t believe in gay marriage. I will not make a cake for a gay wedding.

Man 1: Ok. Then…have a nice day. I guess.

(blackout)

Act II

Setting: Two weeks later. The same bakery. The woman has her phone in her hand.

Woman: (without any irony whatsoever) Gee, people on Facebook are mean. They’re even meaner on Yelp. They’re really screwing up my business.

(blackout)

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