Barack Obama: John! How’s it going?
John Boehner: Can’t complain, Mr. President. Cigarette?
BO: No, thanks, I quit.
JB: Right. So. Played any golf lately?
BO: No time. Big election. Shitshow in Libya. You know how it is.
JB: I hear ya.
(The men stare at each other thoughtfully)
JB: So. The fiscal cliff.
JB: You got internal polling?
BO: Of course. My base wants to tax the rich.
JB: Mine doesn’t.
BO: Your guys still knuckling under to Norquist?
JB: Like yours are knuckling under to unions.
BO: What are you gonna tell ’em?
JB: What do you think? I’m going to say we can’t decide anything and I’m going to make it look like your fault. You?
BO: Uh-huh. I’m going to appear in the midwest and say you don’t care about the middle class.
JB: Alright. Meanwhile, I’ll go strip some Tea Partiers of good committee assignments as punishment for voting against me all the damn time. Maybe that’ll bring my caucus in line.
BO: Ok. I’ll put a bug in Harry Reid’s ear about entitlement reform. Then I’ll run some more polls.
JB: I’ll do the same. Meet back here in a week?
BO: Will do. Maybe by then we can get serious.
JB: See you then.
BO: See you.