I have a new column up over at the Washington Times Communities today! (Amazing that I’m doing any writing at all given that my son’s desire to be 6 inches from me at all times, including while I clean the bathrooms, is crossing the line into stalker-ish behavior). It’s all about the Elf on the Shelf and how I think he’s creepy. You may have heard some of this from me a year ago but the basic creepiness hasn’t changed.
The idea is that this elf is Santa’s emissary in your home and he watches your kids. You can prove this by putting him in one place when your kids go to bed and move him during the night so your kids thinks he’s an autonomous being, moving about while they sleep.
The elf then reports back to Santa on the kids’ behavior, presumably telling the Big Guy if your kids belong on the naughty or nice list. A kid who’s acting wrong could find his elf buddy turning rat on him and getting him blacklisted with Santa.
In other words, the elf is a nasty snitch who is not your friend.
I’ve already gotten one comment over there telling me I need to lighten up because the elf is just old fashioned fun. Guess I shouldn’t tell that person about the Inappropriate Elf Contest over at Baby Rabies then, huh? You all should check it out, though since it is elf-tastic!
Anyway, for the rest of my elf column, hop on over to the Washington Times Communities!