New Column: Elf on the Shelf: Friend? Or jailhouse snitch?


I have a new column up over at the Washington Times Communities today! (Amazing that I’m doing any writing at all  given that my son’s desire to be 6 inches from me at all times, including while I clean the bathrooms, is crossing the line into stalker-ish behavior). It’s all about the Elf on the Shelf and how I think he’s creepy. You may have heard some of this from me a year ago but the basic creepiness hasn’t changed.

The idea is that this elf is Santa’s emissary in your home and he watches your kids. You can prove this by putting him in one place when your kids go to bed and move him during the night so your kids thinks he’s an autonomous being, moving about while they sleep.

The elf then reports back to Santa on the kids’ behavior, presumably telling the Big Guy if your kids belong on the naughty or nice list. A kid who’s acting wrong could find his elf buddy turning rat on him and getting him blacklisted with Santa.

In other words, the elf is a nasty snitch who is not your friend.

I’ve already gotten one comment over there telling me I need to lighten up because the elf is just old fashioned fun. Guess I shouldn’t tell that person about the Inappropriate Elf Contest over at Baby Rabies then, huh? You all should check it out, though since it is elf-tastic!

Anyway, for the rest of my elf column, hop on over to the Washington Times Communities!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

4 comments for “New Column: Elf on the Shelf: Friend? Or jailhouse snitch?

  1. December 8, 2011 at 10:31 am

    I found the whole idea of an elf watching over you really, really creepy and strange. I’m glad my parents never did that.

    Granted, we never needed the threat of a tattletale elf. My parents would just beat us into obedience 😉

  2. December 9, 2011 at 2:51 am

    I vote for creepy. I’d never heard of the whole thing until 2000 or 2001; is it really old-fashioned? Even so, creepy.

  3. Michelle
    December 9, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    I couldnt agree with you more. My mom bought one for my 2 and 1/2 year old son and one for my niece, who is a few months younger. She gave them out on thanksgiving after dinner. Then read them the story without explaining the rules to me or my husband. I didnt even see the damned thing due to “black thursday” this year… The next day the special was on, so we all watched it together… I learn the rules, think its kinda cute, whatever… So i say, zac, where’s yours?? Hes runs in the other room where my mom hid it for him “black thursday” and I was shocked. Hes soooo creepy looking, and to top it off my mom accidentally got a dark skin, dark eyes one, which doesnt match our family coloring. Lol so now were stuck with this creepy thing he named Elfy. Thanks mom, for this creepy new chore I usually forget about. Lol

  4. December 13, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    I think he’s creepy. In fact we think he came from a dysfunctional family. He desperately needs psychological help. but will he ever get it? Who knows?

Comments are closed.