Memo to Donald Trump


Memorandum

To: Donald Trump

From: Mom-in-a-Million

Re: Your Presidential Aspirations

Date: April 26, 2011

 

It has come to my attention that you are growing increasingly serious in your bloviating about a run for the Presidency in 2012. When you first started discussing this, I was under the impression that you were merely behaving in an attention whore-like manner to garner increased viewership for your television show but it appears now that you are actually mulling a run. Before you move any further down this path I would like you to consider a number of aspects of your personality and behavior that are decidedly UN-Presidential:

  • Your habit of responding to all insults: In recent weeks you have called Bill Cosby dishonest and Robert DeNiro stupid because they have expressed reservations about you as President. You have also fired off missives to various media figures who have written unflatteringly about you. First of all, excoriating Cliff Huxtable and the young Vito Corleone never won anyone anything here in America. Second, a President doesn’t get to yell back at everyone who yells at him. You never saw Bill Clinton writing internet screeds calling Ken Starr a self-aggrandizing GOP stooge who wouldn’t have gotten a hummer if they were handing them out for free, did you? No, you did not.
  • Your nepotism: I have no doubt that Ivanka is good at the job you gave her. I have every doubt that she’d be a good Cabinet Secretary.
  • Your record of financial misjudgment: While I am not privy to all the details leading you to file for Chapter Eleven bankruptcy protection in 2009 (or in 1991 or in 1992 or in 2004), I do think that an inability to manage your business affairs indicates a certain lack of fitness for dealing with a strained national economy. Not to mention that the repeated bankruptcy filings seem to show that you lack the capacity to learn from your mistakes. America doesn’t need to be your next failed venture.
  • Your bragging about your net worth: That information has almost no relevance to the ability to be President. See also Lincoln, Abraham.
  • Your stubborn adherence to the theory that the current President is not a US citizen: That line of conversation is nothing more than pandering the lowest common denominator of American prejudices. You are doing it entirely to get attention then protesting a bit too much when everyone in the NBC family of networks fulfills their contractual obligation to interview you and asks you about your purported investigation of Hawaiian vital records to which you have no legal access. If you are getting your greedy, arrogant hands on state birth records, you are probably doing it illegally and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
  • Your career in reality television: Being a reality show personality is a black mark against credibility. And being on a reality show where your strut around like a bantam rooster and “fire” people who don’t really work for you doesn’t make you look like someone who will be any good at sharing authority.
  • Your hair: It is, in a word, fugly.

All of these factors combined with the very basic fact that you seem like a jerk, if your attitude in interviews is any indication, requires me to advise you to forget about running for President and to go back to mismanaging casinos and making celebrities do dumb things on tv. It’s all you’re fit for. Leave the serious work to people who are serious about something other than lining their own pockets.

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16 comments for “Memo to Donald Trump

  1. April 26, 2011 at 8:29 am

    Another fabulous piece. I watched his interview on The Today Show with Meredith Viera (who seems to have some interviewing bipolar issues as it is) and found the whole birth certificate laughable and frankly, annoying. Great job!

  2. April 26, 2011 at 8:49 am

    Love this! You said it perfectly!

    I’m getting a little scared that he might actually run. I mean, I thought Palin was the worst they could thrust at us. I was wrong!

    xo Susie

  3. Amy
    April 26, 2011 at 9:01 am

    Thank you for writing this. You forgot to mention that with 3 marriages under his belt his fidelity is in question as well. What an ass.

  4. Shelley
    April 26, 2011 at 9:08 am

    I’d vote for him over Palin.

  5. shutupanddrive
    April 26, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Well said my friend. Well said.

  6. LAW
    April 26, 2011 at 10:24 am

    OR – you get Mitt “we are at peace”… which asshole is greater? http://leftface.wordpress.com/2011/04/25/peacetime-where-the-hell-have-you-been/

  7. April 26, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    That is totally it – he is not serious. He is a total joke.

  8. Anonymous
    April 26, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    You’re telling me, that in a nation where our debt is virtually impossible to pay off anytime soon, you wouldn’t at least give this man a chance to fix our economy even though he owns a HUGE industry and OBVIOUSLY knows how to handle money? As far as I’m concerned, our current president knows nothing about handling money (other than spending it) and honors Muslim holidays (the religion from which the terrorists we are fighting against come from) and reject the holiday of Easter whether it be celebrated with a religious meaning or not. Right now, ANYONE is more competent to run this nation than Obama, the closet Muslim.

  9. April 26, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    @Anonymous aka too scared to give my name: You are an idiot. You have some serious bigotry issues. You are a racist. You do not love our country, you hate it. You spew this hatred crap on a regular basis I am sure to people who have the same intelligence level as you…which I am fairly certain is on an elementary level. What happened to freedom of religion? Who cares what religion Obama is? A few Radical, psychotic Muslims have put a bad name on millions of good people. Hey, how about those Crusades? Yeah, let’s go around killing those that won’t convert. GREAT IDEA!!
    Until you can get your head out of your ass and speak in an intelligent matter that we can understand, please keep your racist views away from us that actually love this country.

  10. April 26, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    MIAM, you are my hero. Gen X Mama, you are her second.

    Love to you both.

  11. LAW
    April 26, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    Anonymous – hey! how ya doin? so you left MY blog to come over here to barf your idiocy! wonderful… Ya know… you really can’t fix stupid, and you are a perfect example of ignorance. I’m trying to figure out how he didn’t observe Easter when he was :

    President Obama, First Lady Michelle, Malia and Sasha headed to Easter services on Sunday morning at Shiloh Baptist Church leaving the White House at 9:46 a.m.

    This is from the Chicago Sun Times. Now. pull your ignorant head out of your 4th POC, and toddle your bigoted butt somewhere else. please.

    LAW

  12. Anonymous
    April 26, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Wow, am I sorry. I had NO IDEA that this was CNN’s blog! You really should post a warning saying “BEWARE: only liberal and completely misguided views are allowed to be expressed on this blog”. Had that been there, I would have packed up my bags and walked the hell out of here….

  13. Rebekah @ Mom-In-A-Million
    April 26, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    Actually, Anonymous, it’s not your politics that are upsetting people: it’s your blatant prejudice against the Muslim faith. If you can make a good argument for Trump on his own merits, fantastic. But to come here and offer up negative religious stereotyping, well, that won’t go over well. My readers are not all liberal but they’re all compassionate people who don’t stand for bigotry. You can stop bad-mouthing Muslims and join the fun or you can leave. It’s up to you. Have a nice night!

  14. LAW
    April 26, 2011 at 10:30 pm

    Anon – sweetie… misguided? no- we just call a bigot a bigot. I don’t care if you worship a tree, a person, or a coconut. that’s your own particular shibboleth. I may find it silly or offensive, but I’m not going to say all of you who worship said tree, person or coconut are bad, evil or use the name of your religion as a negative or a curse.

    And yes, I am a liberal: a person with an open mind who is ready to learn, to grow in my understanding of my world and the people and other life in that world. What are YOU?

  15. April 26, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    Ignoring the troll….

    MIAM: great post, as usual.

  16. April 27, 2011 at 11:06 am

    Did anonymous not see the White House Easter Egg Hunt? And if President Obama is a closet Muslim why on EARTH would he hold a White House Seder? Oh, maybe because he has religious tolerance and understands that faith is faith no matter what you call God.

Comments are closed.