Last week, my state blew it. The legislature was within a mouse’s fart of passing a bill that would have given same-sex couples equal marriage recognition but, at the very last minute, the bill failed like Michelle Bachmann on a US history test. I haven’t read any of the commentary that might explain why the measure fell apart because I find it too disheartening but my NPR affiliate reported that religious groups had lobbied against it because they “stand for families”.
Please explain to me how opposing a marriage-equality bill stands for families. How does it serve families at all? Does it reduce the cost of childcare? Improve wages for working women? Does it improve schools? Lower housing or utility costs? Des it reduce carbon emissions? Lengthen the solvency of Social Security? Does it increase access to medical care? Does it do anything, anything at all, to improve the lives of families in Maryland? Or does it just let homophobes feel smug?
I don’t buy one word of the argument marriage-equality opponents toss around about the children of same-sex couples having a harder time growing up to be well adjusted. These people must lack even the tiniest amount of self-awareness because if they had any they would realize that the problems faced by children of same-sex parents do not generate with the parents but rather with the bigots who take exception to the parents and feel no compunctions about sharing their ignorant drivel with those children.That is where the adjustment problems for kids lie: in realizing that you are growing up in a world where not everybody is kind to the two people you love the most.
I also don’t buy the idea that refusing same-sex couples marriage equality will prevent them from uniting in love and starting families. It hasn’t so far. Lotsa gay couple with kids walking around. Proving the bigots and their attempts at obstruction wrong, wrong, and wrong again.
And don’t even get me started on how ridiculous the “sinner” argument sounds. Adultery is a sin. Would anyone propose not allowing adulterers to marry? Divorce is a sin yet there are no legal restrictions on allowing divorced people to remarry. Masturbation? Sin. Yet masturbaters marry. Thieves marry, coveters marry, murderers marry, liars marry, blasphemers marry. If sin was a reason to obstruct marriage, we’d all be single. No, what bothers these people is that gay people have gay sex and that wigs them out and they’re not mature enough to get over it and move on. And they really should. I mean, I’m totally grossed out by the idea of homophobic bigots having sex but I’m not petitioning my state to refuse them the right to be married until they get enlightened.
Ugh. It’s all so damn stupid. It’s all part of this “I’m part of a club you can’t join so nyah” mentality. It’s all about wanting to feel superior to someone. And the disgusting part is how often they win these fights. Why do they keep getting to win? When is it our turn to win? You know. Us guys. The smart, sane, tolerant, compassionate people who are frankly too busy to think much about who anyone else marries. Unless we get invited to the wedding in which case we have an outstanding excuse to go shopping.
Life is too short to seek out reasons not to celebrate love. There are not enough occasions of joy to try and cancel some of them out because of things like gender preference. Love, marriage, family, community. Those are the things that matter. For everyone.