25 Things

25 Insults

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I’m kind of into this “making lists” thing so here’s a look at some insults that I think are really get the point across.

Note to people who dislike swearing: This is not the list for you. Actually, this may not be the blog for you.

Note to my Mom: I do not call people these things to their face. You raised me better than that.

  1. Fuckwit
  2. Tubby bitch (credit to Kevin Smith in Mallrats)
  3. Toolshed (Credit to the guy in college who was such a tool that his hallmates started calling him Toolshed)
  4. Buttplug
  5. Turd burger
  6. Cognitive black hole
  7. Shitweasel
  8. Douche nozzle
  9. Inbred gap-toothed holler-fuck (credit to Adrienne at No Points for Style)
  10. Twat waffle
  11. Palin-esque
  12. Jackwad
  13. Dick snacker (adapted from the brilliant “fuck-off” variant “Go snack on a bowl full of dicks” from Amy at Pregnant Chicken)
  14. Mental midget
  15. Genetic coding error
  16. Mouth-breather
  17. Creep spawn
  18. Shit for brains
  19. Psycho hose beast (credit to Wayne’s World)
  20. Cock-smoking asshat
  21. Scum-sucking bottom feeder
  22. Loogie licker
  23. Flaming poopyhead
  24. Uncle fucker (Credit to Matt Stone and Trey Parker of South Park)
  25. Bella Swan
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15 comments for “25 Insults”

  1. Layne
    March 4, 2011 at 11:19 am

    OOooh. Number 11. That’s just cold.

  2. DMCostorf
    March 4, 2011 at 11:46 am

    Bella Swan…ROFL

  3. Tara
    March 4, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    My brother’s favorite (he’s a soldier): “Cum-Guzzling Gutter Slut.” Nice, huh?

    My mother-in-law coined this one: “Cunt Nugget.”

  4. Karen
    March 4, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    My friend in college was partial to “dick wrinkle” and “butt munch”.
    I like Toolshed- that’s great.

  5. kadield
    March 4, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    Cock smoker is always a classic.

  6. MommyLisa
    March 4, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    I like douche canoe – Palin-esque is just so mean! 😉

  7. MommyLisa
    March 4, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    TOO FUNNY TARA, in college we made up a shot called the “cum guzzling gutter slut”. It was a “blow job” with slo-gin in it. BLAH.

  8. Adrienne
    March 4, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    Seriously, you and my husband are cut from the same cloth.

    Every insult that includes “Palin” is a winner in my book. 😉

  9. Shannon W.
    March 4, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    all these are great and gave me a good chuckle. i would like to add “no-talent ass-clown” from Office Space.

  10. Amy of "famed" pregnant chicken
    March 5, 2011 at 8:22 am

    I love Shitweasel!!!

    My husband also loves the term “knob gobbler” which, I believe, is a variant of cock smoker (as mentioned above — also a fave).

    I also like “Window Licker” and “C-U-Next-Tuesday”

    Although, as you know, my list is endless.

  11. LCW
    March 5, 2011 at 8:57 am

    Haha toolshed. Ive used tool bag before.

  12. Ray
    March 5, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    fucktard………been using it for over 20 years now on construction projects. Started the day I was being supervised by a grad student that did not know how to use a shovel. “Thats fucking retarded,” quickly evolved to “He’s a fucktard.”

    Pig Fucker was always good until I was shown some video of the actual act. The eye bleach took a lot of the power out of it.

    Back in 1988 “puss infected cum bubble” won a put down contest one night. Good times.

  13. Brigitte
    March 5, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    I love cock-smoking asshat!

  14. Tonya
    March 7, 2011 at 12:37 am

    To say that I LOVE this list would be an understatement 🙂

  15. Carrie
    March 7, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    #10 and #13 are my new favorites! They just roll off the tongue! Love ’em. I thank you for this now. But when my 3 year old says them at school, I will be seeking damages.

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