Review: Kardashian Konfidential

St. Martin's Press

Kardashian Konfidential is not the stupidest book I’ve ever read.

It’s not the smartest book, either, not by a long shot but it wasn’t the stupidest either. Parts of it were pretty stupid. Parts of it I couldn’t even keep reading because hello? They suggest dress shorts as a fashion must-have and no. Just no.

This book, which was written by Kim. Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian (and presumably some unnamed ghostwriter who really should be getting credit for helping. I’m starting to deeply resent the practice of not crediting ghostwriters for their work), is part memoir, part guide to living and part self-congratulation. It’s written at a level that makes me think their target audience is about 15 or they themselves did not get any formal education past the age of 15 and do not read adult literature to know how grown-ups write. Actually, only one of them went to college and Khloe actually finished high school by a homeschool program that was basically a correspondence course so, no, formal education isn’t high on their lists. The language they use in the book is riddled with their little catchphrases and sister-speak and seems designed to make the reader feel like they’re being allowed into their own private Kardashian sorority.  They talk about their childhood, their Armenian heritage, their love for their father, and their close relationships with one another and their mother, which is probably meant to be endearing but it’s all very shallowly delved. The chapters about their formative years an experiences basically read like an 8th grader’s “My Life So Far” project, but done in Power Point with lots of photos loaded in. Professionally retouched photos.

The rest of the book is a series of lessons on how to be fabulous. Although, they seem to rely a LOT on hair and make-up teams who come in and sped hours making them look the way we see them on tv. Lemme tell ya, if someone spent two hours fawning over me with an foundation brush and a curling iron, I could look as dewy, flawless, and glamorous as a Kardashian too.  So we can safely say that the Kardashian facade is created by pros and not a single one of us should ever think we could or should look like them because they don’t really look like that. It’s the magic of television.

And now that I’m thinking about it, I want their make-up and hair people to get as much credit as their ghostwriter.

The things I liked about this book is that it’s really body-positive and they try to be frank about natural levels of insecurity and the process of embracing yourself in your real form. Though the sister who has implants doesn’t chime in on that little situation. They do acknowledge their artifice with hair and make-up and they talk abut how much effort they put into staying in shape. So there’s an honesty there that’s refreshing. They also acknowledge that they’re unbelievably privileged to live the way they live, though there’s a bit of “the lady doth protest too much” going on when they talk about their parents cutting them off financially when they finished school. All of them went to work for their father at the “cut off” point. There was a safety net, even if it did require that they show up at an office.

The problem I have with the book is that these women don’t seem to realize that their entire existence is about the pursuit of luxury. They buy and sell high-end clothing and accessories. They appear at events dedicated to pleasure and indulgence. Their contribution to the world is aesthetic at best, bacchanalian at worst. They lack substance, purpose, and gravitas and seem to feel unconcerned about basically being very shallow. They don’t talk about any engagement with the world apart from a short aside about the charities that they support. One page of this book. There is an entire chapter dedicated to shopping tips. Yes, I know, we don’t tune in to the Kardashians to learn abut global politics but I do wish they would demonstrate to the 15 years olds they seem to be writing for that a life of the mind is as important, if not more important, than a life of the body.

I wouldn’t recommend this book because its not very interesting, it presents no new information about the Kardashians, and it’s only available in hardcover. The fashion and style tips can be found in any fashion magazine for a fraction of the price. Go with that instead.