25 Faintly Bitchy Opinions


I proposed this post on Twitter and people seemed to think it was a good idea. I’m sure something on here will offend someone but I think the Not Offending People ship has sailed for me. Enjoy!

  1. I automatically assume anyone wearing a Bluetooth earpiece is a douchebag,
  2. I don’t care what kind of diapers you use. Cloth, disposable, paper-towels secured with duct tape. Don’t care. Not interested.
  3. I sometimes unfollow people who post Bible quotes on Twitter. If I wanted Bible quotes, I’d read the Bible.
  4. I hate it when people refer to themselves as parents to their pets. That goes double if they call pets “fur-babies”.
  5. I hate any and all cutesy abbreviations that are popular on message boards such as DH, DS, DD. That goes double for anyone who calls sex “baby-dancing”.
  6. I think spending more than $20 on a pair of non-prescription sunglasses is stupid.
  7. I think Brazilian waxing looks gross.
  8. I think PETA is annoying and wish they’d turn their energy to helping people.
  9. I think The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are one step shy of being prostitution.
  10. I’m not entirely sure NASCAR should count as a sport.
  11. I think people who hunt just to hang stuffed, dead animals in their house should shelve their egos and take up another hobby. One that doesn’t kill anything for fun.
  12. I don’t think Robert Pattinson is hot.
  13. I think anyone who is questioning President Obama’s citizenship is wrong.
  14. I’m pretty sure showing your boobs on Twitter won’t advance the cause of ending breast cancer. Donating to a cancer non-profit is a better idea.
  15. I think lip fillers always look bad.
  16. I think teachers should make education policy. Not politicians.
  17. I loathe Dora the Explorer and won’t allow her in my home. There are less annoying ways to teach kids Spanish than having a cartoon shriek it at them.
  18. I would not be sad if the heads of tobacco companies got lung cancer.
  19. I cannot be friends with homophobes.
  20. I disdain status handbags but it may only be because I’m jealous of them.
  21. I don’t think being rich is a good life goal.
  22. I think putting your kids on a reality tv series is a bad parenting decision.
  23. I will never get my kid one of those Power Wheels electric riding cars. I will get him a bike.
  24. It’s not babysitting when it’s your own kid.
  25. I get a special little spring in my step whenever Michigan loses a football game. O-H-I-O!
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30 comments for “25 Faintly Bitchy Opinions

  1. Julie
    February 23, 2011 at 10:20 am

    I am right there with you on most of these except for #4…I am guilty of referring to my kitty as my furbaby and calling myself his mommy! And #20 I also disliked designer handbags until I got myself a Coach bag…now I am a hypocrite…sigh…

  2. February 23, 2011 at 10:36 am

    YES! to so, SO many of them. I cry inside when parents refer to time with their kids as “babysitting.” I’m grateful my husband doesn’t! And I don’t like the letters on the outside of status handbags. They’re not pretty! I don’t want one! And Nascar isn’t a sport. Turning left for three hours? Really?

    So many more…

  3. February 23, 2011 at 10:40 am

    HILARIOUS! I agree with many of these… but not all. My dog is my first baby. 🙂 Don’t hate me?

  4. wendy
    February 23, 2011 at 10:40 am

    Yes, yes, yes on #5…the term baby-dancing makes me want to throw up!

  5. February 23, 2011 at 10:51 am

    Numbers 5 and 17? Oh my gosh, YES! Can’t stand either!

    I am guilty of numbers 6 and 20… Can’t even help it.

    And as a teacher? I cannot scream number 16 loud enough!

  6. Shannon W.
    February 23, 2011 at 11:53 am

    spot on. I cant stand it when people write “bewbies” when referring to their breasts.

  7. Erica Snipes
    February 23, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    Okay, I’m dumb…thanks for that DH, DD, and DS comment…what the hell are they abbreviations for? Dear Husband, Dear Daughter, and Dear Son? Whatever. But…I have to out myself as a reasonable Dora tolerator. My kids both watch and enjoy it, and it’s reasonably educational, so I allow it. Not my favorite program, but we have our TV hour of Dora and Deigo that we allow before bedtime. I think this is the only place you and I differ in, though! 🙂

  8. February 23, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    I love you. That is all.

  9. February 23, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    Delightfully bitchy list! Count me in as another “DH/DS/DD/D whatever” hater. 🙂

  10. February 23, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    You know what’s worse than people claiming Robert Pattinson is hot?

    Grown women referring to him as “R-Patt”.

    I throw up in my mouth a little each time I hear it.

  11. TheNextMartha
    February 23, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    Can we be friends?

  12. February 23, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    “baby-dancing”?! really??

    Never heard that term before, but *SHUDDER* urgh. that is wrong. People know you shouldn’t have the babies involved in the sex right? the images that phrase brings into my head are wrong, just wrong.

    Thanks. and I just had breakfast. :OD

    I never understood the DH, DD thing either. But then, people are weird.

  13. February 23, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    I truly love you.

    I had to look up DH – I thought it meant “Dick Hat”.

  14. February 23, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    I was mostly on board with all of these, right up until number 25. Then I fell in love with you. O-H-I-O!!

  15. February 23, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    Totally love the list. Although, Dora is allowed in our house. I wish my kids would watch her more than Caiou? Caiuo? Ciauo? (the bald kid). I can’t stand the whining!! #25 is great, but not because of Ohio, just because I think the Wolverines are overrated.

  16. Amy
    February 23, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    We definitely have to meet one day. You, me and Casey(Kadield) at Ben’s chili bowl or for drinks somewhere.
    Number 3 9, 12 and 24. Thank you

  17. February 23, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    Holy crap! THat was awesome!! Most of them resonate with me…and some seemed to create profoundly strong feelings. Is that crazy!!! Pets are not your babies! THat one actually urks me!

  18. Christina S.
    February 23, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    I’m going to argue with you on NASCAR. These people sit in 120 degree cars in what amounts to a full body of flannel without the leisure of a/c, a convertible top or heck, even ice water for four plus hours. They are driving thousand pound machines 200mph 6 inches away from the bumper of the guy in front of him, who is also going 200mph. Winning a race takes not only good driving skills, but good strategy. When do you change tires? How much gas to do you have left (which is figured out by fuel mileage, not by a gas gauge)? How fast are you going (which is figured out by RPM’s not a speedometer)?

    To be able to do all that math, develop strategies with your team, all while driving boxed in at 200mph… If that’s not an athlete, I’m not sure what is.

    If you’ve never watched a NASCAR race in its entirety, or at least the last 40 laps of one or so, it’s not a fair statement to make.

  19. February 23, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    I love this idea and will be stealing it. I have never heard the term “baby dancing” but it pretty much creeps me out. Talk about throwing up a little bit in my throat. And I don’t know who Robert Pattinson is. I’ve got to google.

    Xo Susie

    Ps I am my animals mom–fur babies and human babies!

  20. February 24, 2011 at 9:30 am

    Hmph. Just last night I had to kick out my fur-babies out of bed so DH and I could babydance 😉 NASCAR is a sport like David Blaine is a magician.endurance…but no magic.

  21. February 24, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    #4, #5, #8: Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. (#5 is why I had to give up on the parenting and infertility boards. They’re embryos, not “embies.” And my husband is my husband, not my DH. Although I think I’m now going to steal Amy’s idea and use it as an abbreviation for Dick Hat.)

  22. crazytwinmomma
    February 25, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    Love it! And I didn’t know you were a Buckeye fan. O-H-I-O!

  23. March 2, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    I have never heard the term “baby-dancing.”
    I feel quite violated by that term. Ew.

    and I agree on many things, esp. #19 but not #6.

  24. Valerie
    March 1, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    Completely agree with you on many of these, but particularly #4. Yes, having pets is a big responsibility, but it is NOT the same as parenting.

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