I Won’t Ask If You’re a Homophobe If You Don’t Tell Me You Are

I’ve been watching the hearings on the military’s report on the impact of allowing gays to serve openly in the military on CSPAN for the past couple of days. This is the report that collates the results of the survey of active duty military about their feelings on having openly gay people serving beside them. My suspicion is that about 80% of them actually responded with “I don’t give a damn if you’re gay. Just get me home from Afghanistan!”. But I may be projecting my own feelings about how we should treat our military there.

The top military brass have been testifying before the Senate Committee on the Armed Services and the testimony has been pretty interesting. They’re all basically saying that society has changed since Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was first passed into law and attitudes toward gay people have changed and it’s time for the military to reflect that change. There’s a whole lot of head-nodding going on as everyone agrees that once you’ve met and worked with gay people and realized that they actually do real work and aren’t just big old sex maniacs who spent every waking second thinking about whose bones they can jump next, it’s pretty easy to move past their sexual preference and just treat them as individuals.  The big voice of dissent is Senator John McCain who appears to be determined to be a douche about this by saying that society is wrong, the service members who don’t care if their colleagues are gay are wrong, military leadership is wrong and we need to keep those gay service members in the deepest darkest closet we can find.

Now, CSPAN, for those who don’t watch regularly, fills the time when Congressional proceedings are at a break by opening the phone lines to regular citizens who have opinions about the issue at hand. That is usually a parade of crazy because the only people who watch CSPAN are Beltway nerds like me who are doing it for work and aren’t allowed to call in and vomit opinions everywhere or crazy people who like to vomit opinions.

One such caller yesterday was a man who was near tears over the idea that his two active-duty military sons might have to get over their opinion that homosexuality is “abnormal sexuality” (his words, not mine) and accept homosexual behavior within their ranks.


Can you imagine? These fine, upstanding service members might have to bury an intrinsic part of their emotional make-up and not let anyone know that they’re giant bigoted homophobes while they’re at work? They’ll have to shove their real selves into a…gosh, what should we call it…how about…a closet. They’ll have to tiptoe around their true feelings for fear of professional punishment. That? Would be tragic if it didn’t seem to me like just desserts.

It’s about damn time that homophobes had to keep it to themselves and homosexuals got to go about their business unafraid of discrimination. Because, and I cannot state this strongly enough, homosexuality is a not a choice. Homophobia is. And choosing to be prejudiced is the thing that is wrong. Being an individual who serves in the military and also happens to be attracted to people of the same gender is not wrong.

I hope the Senate passes the same bill the House did and does away with discrimination in our military. I also hope we bring our armed forces home quickly and safely. Because the best thing we can do for service members is to keep them alive and whole, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

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14 comments for “I Won’t Ask If You’re a Homophobe If You Don’t Tell Me You Are

  1. December 3, 2010 at 11:48 am

    When I served in the Army, there were two people in my unit that I knew were gay. No one said it, but we knew. I can’t tell you how much NO ONE CARED, until they were investigated. Because then my entire unit was like, that is such bullshit. The Army almost lost two brilliant translators. Happy ending to the story: the two soldiers under investigation were a man and a woman. They married each other, which ended the investigation, and allowed them to live off-post. HA!

  2. Rebekah @ Mom-In-A-Million
    December 3, 2010 at 11:51 am

    That. Is. BRILLIANT! I love that story (and those soldiers) like Donald Trump loves hair mousse.

  3. December 3, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    Wait. Now you’ve just crossed a line. Are you actually telling me that us gays don’t think about how to molest little boys every day at work and are productive citizens? I find that outrageous, lady! Simply! Outrageous!

    And, yes, it’s about damned time us gays are allowed to serve openly in the military if we wish. I don’t think I can even add anything to what you stated, as you stated everything perfectly!

    Another brilliant blog posting, love 😀

  4. December 3, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    Okay, once again… I love you. I think this is so wisely worded… it is time for homophobia to be “in the closet” so to speak.

    You rock.

  5. December 3, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    But I heard on the news today that the republicans are going to stall on voting on it until the new guys get in, and then they won’t pass it. Pisses me off. Thanks for the post

  6. December 3, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this. You always articulate things so well.

  7. December 3, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    John McCain is turning into the old man shaking his fist on his lawn.

  8. anthrogrrl
    December 3, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    I’ll tackle this from the “being gay is wrong and a choice” point of view. OK, so let’s just say your religion tells you homosexuality is immoral and wrong. Therefore, the military should have a policy to kick out people who “practice” homosexuality openly. And you should be able to tell everyone who is gay to their face that they are abberations unto the Lord, or something like that.

    Your religion tells you a whole lot of other things are wrong, too, but you put up with those sinners. Should we kick out anyone in the military who had has an affair, or premarital sex, or used the Lord’s name in vain, or not honored their mother and father? Be real Christians and let people make their own choices in their own lives. If you don’t like them, don’t socialize with them. If you have to, pray for them. Just please keep your damned opinion to yourself.

  9. December 3, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    I love how you wrote this. I truly believe it is time for everyone in this country to stop being judgmental. Aren’t we supposed to be a giant melting pot for all walks of life to be able to live freely in this country? Me thinks John McCain protests too much! Maybe there’s a closet somewhere he needs to break the he’ll out of!

  10. Amy
    December 3, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    You are my hero.
    Another awesome post:-D

  11. December 3, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    Fabulous. You worded it so well. I love the idea of homophobes having to be in the closet. If only.

  12. December 3, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    Wonderful post!

    Xo Susie

  13. December 3, 2010 at 10:33 pm

    John McCain has really stayed too long at the party. Gone are our memories of him as hero. Now he’s just an irrelevant old gas bag.

    And don’t get me started on Obama who had the power to issue an executive order ending DADT on the day he took office.

    Couldn’t agree with this post more.

  14. 2forgetful
    December 6, 2010 at 11:06 am

    You are awesome. Great post!

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