Letter to Spencer Pratt:

Dear Spencer,

You’re fired from being human.

Here’s why. This quote, right here:

“The divorce was real – just the idea behind it was different than most people’s,” Spencer tells Life & Style. “Divorcing was the only way to keep Heidi’s career going because everyone hated me so much. Look at Sandra Bullock – her divorce from Jesse James was the best thing to happen to her image.”

Now, they worry how they’ll ever get themselves out of the cash crisis. “I can’t make regular money because I was playing such an unlikeable character on TV to keep my checks coming. Who wants to hire the jerk from The Hills?”

I didn’t know what I find more repugnant about you: that you think manipulating the legal system for publicity is acceptable or that you’re so fucking stupid that you think that you have anything in common with Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock has talent. She’s philanthropic. She works hard.

You’re a cock-smoking asshat. You’re a fame whore. You lack talent. You lack a work ethic. You lack morals.

I kind of wish you lacked oxygen.

You’re broke and out of work? Bummer. So are 10% of Americans. Too bad for you that when the economy turns around all you’re qualified for is working at McDonald’s. Because you didn’t spend your twenties going to college, working at entry level jobs to learn skills, and paying your dues. No, you spent it being an asshole on tv and not saving your paychecks for the day that the gravy trained dumped you off like a hobo. You’re an idiot.

Getting divorced to gin up attention and so that Heidi could become your personal income machine is so gross I can’t even…I don’t know…You suck donkey balls.

Marriage is a serious thing. You know all those people who march in the streets with NOH8 signs? They’re not allowed to get married and they want to. Badly. It means something to them. They are fighting to be allowed to do something you did mainly for cameras. They aren’t allowed to enter an institution that you’re willing to throw away for the cover of a tabloid or a reality show.

You. Are. Disgusting.

GAWD. I hate Hollywood trash like you. You trot around looking for the next big-money hand-out like you’ve ever done anything to deserve it. Grow the fuck up, Spencer. Go to college. Get an internship. Stay away from club openings and cameras. Rehabilitate your image by rehabilitating your whole personality. Park the arrogance and the attitude and do what the rest of us do: work, save, and get respect by earning it.

With utter disgust,


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17 comments for “Letter to Spencer Pratt:

  1. November 8, 2010 at 8:04 am

    Yay! Somebody finally told him what a cock-sucking asshat he really is. I hope he reads this. Or his “people” do. Whatever. He’s a loser!

  2. November 8, 2010 at 9:32 am

    As someone that is unable to enjoy marriage with his partner, I was horrified to read what this piece of trash did for money. To actually take something that a LOT of us are fighting for and toss it aside like an unattractive baby is outrageous.

    And did he really compare his situation to Sandra Bullock? She’s two flavors of awesome and he’s a cock-smoking crack whore that turns tricks for peanuts.

    Screw you, Spencer, screw you.

  3. Tilly
    November 8, 2010 at 10:06 am

    Amen sister.

  4. November 8, 2010 at 10:20 am

    Yes! This. Exactly this.

    Someone seriously needs to put the dumb kid in his place. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

  5. November 8, 2010 at 11:24 am

    Amen, Sister!

    Every word you have written is true. TRUE!!

    Eat it, Spencer. You are an embarrassment.

  6. November 8, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Someone had to say it.


  7. Erica Snipes
    November 8, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    And all God’s people said…AMEN. Whew. And how. Seriously, though, there are lots of people in the various formats of the entertainment industry that have portions of Spencer’s personality and behavior–and despite smart people like you and me, and your other readers of course(!) that agree whole heartedly with what you have to say, those crazies like Spencer will still get their 15 minutes or lots more, of fame, their millions of dollars, one way or another. If only tv and magazines would stop publishing the news about these people, they would maybe just go away and really be forced to work hard and earn the respect of others like the rest of us do. We may all complain about what’s kinds of things are supplied out there, but we also create the demand, unfortunately. And how do we break that chain? 🙂

  8. November 8, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Hillarious. I thought that he was dead when he fell of the radar. Okay, I’d hoped it.

  9. November 8, 2010 at 5:34 pm

    He makes me vom.

  10. D
    November 8, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    Blair stole my exact words. Seriously, I’m kind of crushed I can’t posted them for myself now… okay I will anyways because he is that disgusting. He makes me want to vomit.

  11. amy
    November 8, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    Now I wonder how we can get that Asshat to read this letter. Maybe he sits at home and googles his name. Between him and his wife the are maybe 2 working brain cells in their bodies.

  12. November 8, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    Tell him how you really feel!! Way to put it out there. They are both gross.

  13. Anna aka Gots2noJohstono
    November 9, 2010 at 9:25 am

    LOVE IT! You said it better than I could have myself. LOVE the part about entry-level and paying your dues. SO DAMN TRUE!!!

  14. November 9, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    True dat. Is it wrong to say he even makes Scott Kardashian look less reprehensible?

  15. November 9, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    You said that perfectly. He is an idiot! Of course, Heidi is not much better since she has gone along with all this…this…whatever it is. Great post, as always!

    He could go to college with the Kardashians, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and all the others who are famous for being famous…

  16. anthrogrrl
    November 10, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    It’s right there in his name. He’s a Pratt. And not worth my time to worry about him, or his plastic once-and-future wife.

  17. November 15, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Yes, he’s lower than squid shit, but I’d still rather be locked in a room for a week with Speidi than be forced to watcone episode of Sarah Palin’s fucking Alaska.

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