Oh HELL No


OK, I know I’m in the middle of a break from blogging but my goddamn head is about to explode here and I can’t not write today.

Here’s the deal. I came out a while ago as a commie pinko liberal hippie. Politics, social justice and advocacy are major passions in my life and I was going to write a well-reasoned, thoughtful post next week about how neglecting to write about those subjects is making me feel inauthentic and like I’m hiding big parts of my soul from my own self. I was going to introduce a series of periodic soapbox posts gently so I don’t scare anyone with my commie pinko liberal hippie ranting but now I’m going to skip that and just plunge right into the ranting part because of some assholes in Kentucky.

I’m also going to cuss a lot because I’m too fucking angry to come up with better words. Sorry ’bout that.

See, here’s the deal. There’s a Senate race going on in Kentucky between a Democrat who doesn’t get much coverage because he’s not very interesting and Rand Paul who is extremely interesting because he’s the son of past Presidential hopeful Congressman Ron Paul, the man who first experienced the Colbert bump. Rand Paul is a libertarian with some ideas about the Civil Rights Act and Americans with Disabilities Act that are so far out of the mainstream that the GOP sent handlers to Kentucky after he won the primary to sit on him and not let him talk out loud in front of people until the last possible second. Now, he’s talking up a storm and making people angry, which is fine. He’s also making other people love him, which is also fine.

One of the people on the Hate Rand Paul front was a lady who works for liberal commie pinko hippie organization MoveOn.org. She went running up to him to present him with a fake employee of the month award from the fake RepubliCorp that MoveOn has made up. While she was doing that someone either tripped or pushed her and then STOMPED ON HER HEAD while she was on the ground. Then someone stomped on the recently-operated-on foot of a Rand Paul supporter.

Then my fucking head exploded.

This morning on my way to the Metro I saw a Republican candidate for state senate standing outside my metro stop.  I’m planning to vote against this guy next week but instead of stomping on any part of his body, I simply smiled and said “Good morning.” You know why I did that? Because I’m not a cock-smoking asshat who thinks violence is a viable solution to ideological disagreement.

Look, we’re having an election. Again. We have them every two years. People feel passionately about them. People get all fired up and say all kinds of shit and half the candidates are idiots who have to take out ads explaining that they’re not witches and Saturday Night Live has to do skits about it and that’s just the way it goes. I’ve been an election watcher for a long time and I can tell you with absolute certainty that, despite strong feelings on both sides, the only people who will suffer any immediate effect the day after the election are the candidates and their staff. The rest of us will see no change. None at all. The House may go Republican, governors may have to move out of their mansions, Sharon Angle may usurp Harry Reid but none of us are gonna die. Or be richer. or poorer. Or anything. It will just be Wednesday. And by Thursday we’ll be gearing up to do it again in two more years.

Which is what makes the Kentucky Stomping Incidents even more appalling.

The crowd outside that debate wasn’t angry  mob staging a violent coup to oust a dictator: they were there to watch a two white guys in suits talk a lot about why they should get a job where they’ll get to talk some more. No one’s life is at stake. No one’s home or family is going to be lost or saved because of the outcome of the Kentucky Senate race. No one is in immediate danger. There was no self-defense needed. Instead we have cretins doing harm for  no purpose at all.

And we wonder why kids are bullies.

Folks, shit like this makes me think that we are not mature enough as society to handle the responsibility of maintaining civility. We have political candidates who tell their followers to “reload” when things don’t go their way and we have activists stomping on each other and we have a Senate Minority Leader who literally said that if he takes majority power next week, he’ll use his position to focus entirely on defeating the President in the next election. What the fuck? How about we all use all that energy to gin up solutions to major problems instead of just generating more anger, more rage, and eventually more violence?

Politicians need to be the vanguard of civility in discourse and stop demonizing their opponents because none of them, not a one, is actually as bad as their opponents say.  And we voters need to stop demonzing the members of the opposition party because none of them are as bad and Fox News and MSNBC want us to think. We’re all Americans. All of us. No one wants to destroy America. No one wants to see other Americans fail. So all of us need to grow the fuck up and treat everyone else like they’ve grown the fuck up and focus on the solution, not the problem, and certainly not on what names to call other people.

Rant over. Whew.

OK, I’m going back to my much-needed blogging break. I’ll be back next week, hopefully feeling calmer.

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16 comments for “Oh HELL No

  1. October 26, 2010 at 10:59 am

    “I simply smiled and said “Good morning.” You know why I did that? Because I’m not a cock-smoking asshat ”

    I died laughing.

    You should write about politics ALL THE TIME. Because this? Was awesome. And so true.

  2. amy
    October 26, 2010 at 11:10 am

    I loved this post. It was great and you presented it like a human being and not by pointing fingers, well except to the head stomping/foot stomping idiot.
    Love,
    another liberal in OHIO. Yep a big state in terms of elections.

  3. October 26, 2010 at 11:12 am

    Ok I am a conservative republican that falls into the libertarian category whenever I take those political quiz things online.

    And what happened in Kentucky was disgusting. Disgusting. I watched the video of it, and he wasn’t tripped, she was grabbed and pulled down to the ground.

    I am passionate about politics. I don’t openly blog about it (although a couple year ago I did….a lot. And it was ugly, people have a hard time understanding that opinions are formed off of experiences. And the comments and e-mails I got were so disgusting I decided never ever again, too many idiots are online for me to do that again) but I will always always always speak out against the belief that violence is the answer to the problems in our country. The idea that someone doesn’t want to vote for the person I want them to so I’m going to cause them bodily harm…that’s bullshit. No matter what side of the political side you’re on. It’s just simply bullshit.

  4. Erica Snipes
    October 26, 2010 at 11:15 am

    Awesome blog. You should write like this all the time, cussing and everything. Really, it is hard to pick my favorite blogger/bloggess these days, because everyone is writing very well about certain areas that I’m interested in…I get the full continuum of information and good response on just about everything I am into, based on reading four blogs. But a serious Colbert “tip of the hat” to you, friend…I’d like to pass this one on to a few choice people in a couple buildings in DC, let me tell ya! Fantastic post!

  5. October 26, 2010 at 11:16 am

    As someone who is fairly moderate but tends to lean more to the right than the left, this was fucking brilliant!

  6. October 26, 2010 at 11:18 am

    I heart this post so much I want to make out with it.

  7. October 26, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Word. So much word.

    I have a friend who posted on Facebook that as part of their Halloween decorations, her neighbor put up fake gravestones with all the major Democratic politicians names on them. And I thought that was one of the grossest things I’ve ever heard. But STOMPING ON PEOPLE? Actual physical violence? I just threw up in my mouth.

  8. October 26, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    My favorite part is about the Republicans using all their authority to defeat the President over the next few years – YOU ARE SO RIGHT. I mean, WTF??? YOU Can’t think of ANYTHING better to do over the next two years??? Improve jobs, improve healthcare legislation, improve ANYTHING for the working person?

    I totally agree. I will vote and it won’t make a darn bit of difference, but I will still do it. I have to or I might just break down all together.

  9. October 26, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    “And we wonder why kids are bullies.” – EXACTLY.

    I think I have a blog crush on you now.

    PS I live in KY.

    PPS Don’t hold it against me.

  10. October 26, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    I love, love, LOVE this post. I’m a big flaming liberal, and it just amazes me to no end that people can get elected because of fear, hate and just sheer stupidity. Why in the hell do we have to be focused on defeating “the other guy”? Why not try actually focusing on something that will benefit, oh, I don’t know, the constituents?! Anyway, hysterical & spot on post!

  11. October 26, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    I cannot come up with better words to express myself, either.

    I fucking love you, man.

    Greatest post I’ve ever read.

  12. October 26, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    Unfortunately, it seems that the older politicians get, the more asshat-ish they get. It infuriates me, the lies that are told on both sides. Seriously? GROW THE FUCK UP! the ads are for the ignorant, but still, equally important voters.

    All I can say is this…NOVEMBER 2 CAN’T COME SOON ENOUGH!

  13. October 26, 2010 at 4:16 pm

    I watched the vid you linked to (coz I live not only out of state, but out of country – so only vaguely understand the US political system) my biggest thought was “the police are investigating whether the man stepped on her intentionally”?!?! WTF??

    watch the tape guys! it looked pretty intentional to me!!

    crazy crazy crazy. wtf is wrong with people these days?? *sigh*

    can’t we all just get along? :O)

    great post as usual – been missing ya!

  14. October 26, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Go on with your bad self. I tend not to blog about politics, either, simply because it often invites more heat than light. But Sweet Jesus on a breadstick, can’t we all just get along?

    (Speaking of Jesus, since we’re talking politics, I’ll throw religion in here too because I coincidentally heard about my church’s civility in politics initiative today: http://www.ucc.org/ourfaithourvote/civility.html You don’t have to be religious to be nice!)

    I saw a political candidate at my Metro stop today too (maybe it was the same guy). I also don’t plan to vote for him, but I also stopped to shake his hand. The other thing I wished I’d done? Thank him, as a veteran of the Marine Corps, for his service.

    Maybe if we’re lucky, this weekend’s Rally to Restore Sanity actually will.

  15. October 26, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    “Politicians need to be the vanguard of civility in discourse and stop demonizing their opponents because none of them, not a one, is actually as bad as their opponents say.”

    What can I say but FUCK YES! If nobody is going to be the grown-up than we are just plain screwed.

  16. Mama Morales
    October 27, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    I love the whole blog, but am still laughing over “cock-smoking asshat.” You made my day :p

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