Football Food: Lemon Chicken

This recipe is adapted from one that Glamour Magazine called “Engagement Chicken” because their staff seemed to get engaged after making it for their significant others. So, I strongly suggest only making it for the husband you already have and not any other men. I mean, if another man popped the question based on a chicken dish you’d be stuck planning a wedding in addition to everything else you have going on.  Then you’d have to manage a second husband, which sounds dreadful. Also, you might wind up on TLC opposite their new show Sister Wives which is abut a polygamist family where the husband is a such a douche that I can’t for the life of me understand why four different women want to be married to him. So, be careful when you cook this chicken.


  • 1 whole chicken
  • 2 lemons
  • Lemon juice
  • Lemon pepper, salt, regular pepper

Preheat the oven to 400.

Wash the chicken and get rid of the bag of scary giblets in the cavity. Does anyone even use those things? I mean, my sister claims to fry and eat chicken livers but anyone else?

Pierce the lemons with a fork a few times. Roll them on the counter to soften them up so the juice can come out easily.

Stick the lemons in the chicken.

Sprinkle salt, pepper, and lemon pepper on the chicken.

Pour a whole bunch of lemon juice in the bottom of the pan you’re cooking the chicken in, add the chicken.

Cook the chicken for about 15 minutes per pound. Baste with the lemon juice and pan juices a couple times in the first half of the cooking cycle.

Serve with veggies, rice or baked potatoes. Avoid single men.  Enjoy!

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1 comment for “Football Food: Lemon Chicken

  1. October 8, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    Ok, I am a believer now. You managed to work chicken and polygamy into one post. There really is some serious talent involved there, because it would have been so easy for this to just be…you know…trashy and cheap.

    And no, no one uses giblets. They just keep putting them in there so we have to dispose of them instead.

    And to build character in our children who we rope into helping us with dinner.

    Me: Take the giblets out.

    Freaked out Teenager: EWWWWW!

    Me: Just take them out!

    Freaked out Teenager: I don’t wanna!

    Me: Take them out or you’ll never have the stomach to perform an emergency tracheotomy on an aircraft with nothing but a credit card and a ball point pen, just DO IT!

    Just another one of the gifts we give our children that they do not appreciate.

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