Now this is easy don’t you think?
4.) Open letter to a celebrity.
I’m actually going to change it up a little and write some very short messages to a number of celebrities that only merit a text message, not a full-on letter.
Dear David Hasslehoff:
Roasts won’t help. Tangos won’t help. Spandex pants REALLY won’t help. Go gently into that good Knight and let us remember you as you were.
Dear Paris Hilton:
You tried to avoid a possession arrest by saying you thought the coke in your purse was…gum. Please don’t breed.
Dear People on The Spin Crowd (my new E! reality guilty pleasure):
You give celebrities opportunities to be more famous. Please don’t confuse that with doing something important.
Dear Bethenney Frankel:
Who are you? Seriously. Who are you?
Dear Jesse James and Kat Von D:
Get a room!
Nothing related to the Real Housewives franchises is news. Please stop reporting on it like it is.
Dear Tiger Woods:
A $54 million compound as a bachelor pad? Is not making us like you any better.
Dear Miley Cyrus:
What the hell happened here?
Dear Michael Douglas:
Best wishes for a full recovery from cancer!