This is barely a post. This a collection of questions that have popped into my mind this week. I apologize for not having anything better to write.
Why do some men sit with their knees so far apart that they’re invading the seats on either side of them? Are they airing out their crotches? Or are they trying to convince us that they’re soooooo well endowed that they need to hold their legs that far apart?
The cakes on Amazing Weddings Cakes always look really pretty but no one talks about how they taste. The cakes always seem to be a couple days old by the time they’re delivered so are they stale?
Why are there never any men in birth control commercials?
Are Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt talking about getting back together to get more publicity or because they’ve realized that no on else will touch their skanky asses?
Women only got the right to vote 90 years ago. How come women don’t camp out overnight at polling places? We should be all “We’re here to VOTE, suckahs! Because we CAN!” instead of taking it for granted.
Does taking off a tie at the end of the day of the bring men the same sort of bliss that taking off pantyhose brings women?
Why do diapers have designs? They hold poop. Does anyone really think that being cute makes that less fundamentally icky?
Why on earth does my son think revolving doors are called “marshmallows”?
Why are Kathie Lee and Hoda that odd shade of orange? And don’t you think they’d both look younger if they stopped with the fake-n-bake?
If a movie wins the Oscar for best director and best screenplay, shouldn’t it win best film just by default?
What does Santa do if he has to go to the bathroom? Maybe instead of milk and cookies, we should leave him a copy of Sports Illustrated and a scented candle.
That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. Tomorrow will be better. I promise.