So, as some of you read last week, I am trying to get a free copy of Kendra Wilkinson’s memoir because I really, really want to read about Playboy Mansion orgies so that I can tell all of you about them. This book is begging for me to review it, but at $25, I’m not buying it. And neither is my library system apparently.
I started by trying to get Kendra’a agent Brian (who I will henceforth call Agent Man) to give me a copy. He finally got back to me over the weekend. I’ll distill down our conversation for you here. (The agent, who is clearly more accustomed to reality stars than mom bloggers and didn’t get my jokes, would probably prefer I not reproduce it exactly and I bet his lawyers would agree. I have no lawyers but if I did, I think they’d advise me against pissing off Agent Man’s lawyers.)
Agent Man: Hi. I don’t give away free books because I’m an agent. Here’s the name of Kendra’s publicist at her publishing house. And may I interest you in some Xanax to chill you out? Or perhaps something for your obviously untreated ADD?
Me: You mean there’s yet another person out there who I can bug via ridiculous, wildly unprofessional email? Thanks Agent Man! You’re the best!
So, here’s the note I fired off to Kendra’s book publicist:
Hi! My name is Rebekah and I write the mom-blog Mom-in-a-Million. I am really hoping you can help me out here. I have a pretty simple request: I’d like a free copy of Kendra Wilkinson’s book Sliding Into Home to review on my blog. I’m a big fan of writing about celebrities and also reviewing books so Kendra + Book = Perfect Blog Fodder. And since most of my readers are parents, any book about a celebrity mom is like double the fun for all of us! My posts about Tori Spelling’s books were read by literally dozens of my rabid fans. OK, so they’re not rabid. But without coffee they get a little frantic so don’t get between my fans and a Starbucks.
I’m going to be honest with you here and say that you’re not my first stop on this crazy train ride to get a copy of Kendra’s book. Normally my library would be my first stop, but they don’t have it. Whatever! My next usual stop would be my local book stores but they are charging retail for it which is totally reasonable for a first run book but a celebrity, even a celebrity like Kendra who is better know for her exercise videos than her literary prowess. But I don’t have $25 on hand so that’s a non-starter. So, I dropped her agent a line after finding his email on her website and he said he didn’t have any books to give me and sent me along to you. Frankly, I suspect he thought I was deranged which may or may not be an accurate assessment. But I’m a literary kind of gal so you may understand me better than a Hollywood agent used to dealing with reality stars would. I think we’re going to be on the same page here, Stacy. I think you get that I’m a writer and just want to read a good book but I don’t have the ready cash to get my hands on it. You dig? I knew that you would!
So look, Stacy, can you help me out? A reader’s copy would really make my day. Not as much as a publishing contract of my own would but let’s face it: I’m no Kendra. I haven’t even been to ONE orgy at the Playboy Mansion and I never cheated on Hef with a pro football player. And my happy marriage, solid career and lovely son are not the stuff books are made of. Blogs, yes, but books? Probably not despite my skills as a writer and excellent sense of observation and ability to create wry, irreverent, entertaining content on a daily basis. It’s a world gone mad, doncha think, Stacy? A world gone mad.
Anyway, let me know if there’s a copy of this book in my future. I look forward to reading it and reviewing it and so do my readers!
P.S. I actually already sent a note to you all on Friday via webform and snail mail. Dunno if it will ever make it into your hands so here’s a link to the full contents which appeared on my blog and sent my readers into pants-wetting spasms on Friday afternoon.
P.P.S. Yes, I’ll look into Xanax to help me chill out. No need to bring that up.
I think a book will be forthcoming in no time, don’t you?