OK, this Mama Kat prompt is spooky:
5.)Earthquake! Where were you when it happened?
Why is this spooky? Because there actually was an earthquake in DC last week! Do you know how often DC gets earthquakes? Never. We never get earthquakes. We get disasters like blizzards and heat waves and snakehead fish in the Potomac and Congress. But the earth? Stays still under our feet.
But not last Friday. Last Friday, I awoke to a vibrating house at 5am. I asked the Great Guy I Married what it was and went back to sleep as he went downstairs to investigate. I assumed it had been a big truck passing because we don’t get earthquakes in DC. He reached the same conclusion when he looked outside and saw no one racing around like characters in a Godzilla movie and also because we don’t get earthquakes in DC.
Two hours later, Facebook and Twitter confirmed that it had been an earthquakes (What? Where do you get your news? The news?). Just a little one that didn’t damage anything anyplace but still. It was an earthquake in DC!!!!
There is only one possible answer: Mama Kat is stalking me like Jennifer Jason Leigh stalked Bridget Fonda (or maybe vice versa) in Single White Female.
Mama Kat. If you’re reading this (and I know you are) keep your hands off my puppy! And close that window! I mean, if I had a puppy. I don’t. Because between my toddler and my cat, I clean up enough poop. A puppy would just add insult to injury. So, don’t even think about giving me a puppy! You stalker-blogger, you!
I always knew blogging made me a public figure and that my information could be misused by people who maybe meant me harm but I never expected this. Mama Kat seems to nice. She has adorable kids. She runs a daycare. She gives me blog-fodder every single week! But, she’s after me folks. I’m sure of it. In fact, she may have shaken the earth herself just to freak me out.
I’m terrified. Really, I am.
Or possibly over-reacting.
One or the other.
Disclaimer: I don’t really think Mama Kat is stalking me. I was just employing hyperbole and misdirection to make up for the fact that my only earthquake story is kind of lame.