Sometimes my taste in books, movies or theatre is a little highbrow. My taste in tv? Is the opposite of highbrow. Lowbrow? Idiotic? Laughable? Any of those words will apply. Here’s a short list of what I’m watching lately.
Bridezillas: This is the most delightful of trainwreck tv shows, if you ask me. I sit there in front of the screen, gape-jawed wondering “Who are these woman? And who wants to marry them?”. They scream. They shout. They whine. They demand. They eat their feelings then complain that their dress doesn’t fit. They overspend their budgets then wail about being broke. Best of all, they dangle invitations to their weddings or spots in the bridal party out to their friends and family like they are Golden Wonka Tickets when, for most sane and rational people, being excommunicated from the Church of Bridezilla Wedding would be a blessed relief. But everyone goes along with their crazy whims and gives them the wedding they’ve always wanted and acts like this is normal behavior. Recently, the network has been airing “where are they now” retrospectives and I’m astonished that most of these women are still married. (Side note, the same network that does Bridezillas does a show called My Fair Wedding where celebrity wedding planner David Tutera comes in and divests brides of all their ideas for a wedding and redoes it according to his, ostensibly superior, taste. I’ve never seen that show because the whole idea makes me sad. So what if a bride’s dream wedding is tacky? Let her have it! David Tutera should go plan his own wedding if he wants to execute his vision.)
Holly’s World: Oh, Holly Madison. I loved Holly the best of all the Girls Next Door and was really hoping that when she got free of Hef she’d grow up and become something special and interesting. Instead she’s headlining a Vegas burlesque review and flashing her boobs all over town and hanging out with three people who are, without a doubt, the most vapid annoying tv hangers-on since Scott Disick. Her new show lacks any conflict that isn’t entirely manufactured and it all reeks of catfight. Plus, she and all her friends continue the annoying Girls Next Door tradition of elongating all vowels when they’re excited. (i.e. Aaaaaaawwwww! Soooo cuuuuttteeee!”). I’m disappointed in her. But I’m still watching.
Jersey Couture: Love, love LOVE this new series so far. A family in Jersey, working together selling overpriced, over-done gowns to prom girls and gala goers. The mom shouts weird catchphrases like “That’s a booty-pop dress!” and “I’m a boobologist!” at customers while wedging them into dresses with eye-popping prints and too much visible cleavage. The one daughter embraces her life as dress seller, the other chafes against the family ties that bind, the ne’er-do-well son dreams if being a big DJ and the father pays all the bills. But they’re all basically nice to each other which is refreshing and pleasant after the horrors of Bridezillas. It is delicious. I love it.
Man v. Food: I don’t know why I love this show so much. It never fails to make me queasy to watch Adam Richman gorge himself on 5lb grilled cheese sandwiches or 80 oz milkshakes. It’s like a tour-de-force of the worst eating habits in America taken to a ridiculous degree. And yet I watch. And so does my husband. And we consider eating at places Adam has visited when we travel. P.S. I have a friend who slept with Adam. I need to pry details about that out of her.
Entourage: Technically, I won’t start watching this until Monday because the season premier is on Sunday but the Great Guy I Married will be out of town and I won’t watch until he’s here to enjoy it with me but I can hardly wait! Will we see E and Sloane’s wedding or will they already be married? Or will that have fizzled? Will Lloyd be thriving as an agent? Will Drama get a new series? Will Turtle grow up? How will Ari do running two agencies? What is Vince’s next move? Squeeeee!!! So much to see!
Shows I’m not watching because I like to think I’m above them but I will probably start watching because I can’t help myself:
Kourtney and Klhoe Take Miami: Because I am Kardashian obsessed.
True Blood: Because I am going to start using the treadmill at work and need something to distract me from the fact that I am walking in place.