You can also find a post from me at DC Metro Moms today!
I offer helpful hints for tourists on how to get along better with locals!
It’s Thursday again and we all know what that means! Mama Kat’s Writers workshop!
4.) Why do we need 26? If you could change the alphabet, what would you do? Add? Subtract? Combine? Simplify? Write about it.
Well. The alphabet. It is really just asking for editing isn’t it?
To begin with, I’d like to address the situation with the letter Q. No, I’m not talking about its unhealthy relationship to the letter U. I’m not here to play psychoanalyst to the letters. I would like to talk about the pronunciation of the letter Q. C. has been calling it “Cute” instead of Q and I hereby suggest we adopt that alternate pronunciation. Because, really? What’s more adorable than a toddler pointing to a magnet shaped like a Q and saying “Oh! Cute!”?
I might also suggest that we switch Q to being a number instead of a letter because C. sometimes refers to it as Number Cute. But that might be taking things a step too far.
I also think we rely too much on the order of things in the alphabet. I know, I know, alphabetical order is handy, easily remembered, and much fairer than trying to choose the order of things based on merit or other subjective criteria, but is it really then best way or arranging letters? Perhaps the order of the QWERTY keyboard is a better plan. Or maybe we need to group the vowels together. Or maybe my son has yet again provided us with brilliant insight into a better order for letters by placing his magnets like so:
Another thing we need to think about is letting the letter S go over to the number side because of its more-than-passing resemblance to the number 5. Five is C’s favorite number and he often points to the letter S and says “That’s 5!” with a giant grin on his smart little face. I heartily dislike telling him he’s wrong so we should just drop S and let it be 5 instead.
Now, I realize that I am proposing that we let a two year old who doesn’t know how to read make some significant alterations to the fundamentals of our very language. But really, his grasp of language is quite extraordinary and is a perspective we should pause to consider. I mean, how can we not appreciate the linguistic genius of a person who asks “Is kitty eating water”? And let’s not disregard his flipping of the traditional toddler rallying cry of “Mine!” to “It’s not yours!”. My son is a poet. An orator. A master of communication. So, his thoughts on language and the building blocks thereof should be taken very, very seriously.
Except for that time he said “Shit!”. Let’s just ignore that. And it’ll never happen again Particularly after we make S a number.