Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop


You can also find a post from me at DC Metro Moms today!

I offer helpful hints for tourists on how to get along better with locals!

It’s Thursday again and we all know what that means! Mama Kat’s Writers workshop!

4.) Why do we need 26? If you could change the alphabet, what would you do? Add? Subtract? Combine? Simplify? Write about it.

Well.  The alphabet.  It is really just asking for editing isn’t it?

To begin with, I’d like to address the situation with the letter Q.  No, I’m not talking about its unhealthy relationship to the letter U.  I’m not here to play psychoanalyst to the letters.  I would like to talk about the pronunciation of the letter Q.  C. has been calling it “Cute” instead of  Q and I hereby suggest we adopt that alternate pronunciation.  Because, really?  What’s more adorable than a toddler pointing to a magnet shaped like a Q and saying “Oh! Cute!”?

I might also suggest that we switch Q to being a number instead of a letter because C. sometimes refers to it as Number Cute. But that might be taking things a step too far.

I also think we rely too much on the order of things in the alphabet.  I know, I know, alphabetical order is handy, easily remembered, and much fairer than trying to choose the order of things based on merit or other subjective criteria, but is it really then best way or arranging letters? Perhaps the order of the QWERTY keyboard is a better plan.  Or maybe we need to group the vowels together.  Or maybe my son has yet again provided us with brilliant insight into a better order for letters by placing his magnets like so:

Another thing we need to think about is letting the letter S go over to the number side because of its more-than-passing resemblance to the number 5.  Five is C’s favorite number and he often points to the letter S and says “That’s 5!” with a giant grin on his smart little face.  I heartily dislike telling him he’s wrong so we should just drop S and let it be 5 instead.

Now, I realize that I am proposing that we let a two year old who doesn’t know how to read make some significant alterations to the fundamentals of our very language.  But really, his grasp of language is quite extraordinary and is a perspective we should pause to consider.  I mean, how can we not appreciate the linguistic genius of a person who asks “Is kitty eating water”? And let’s not disregard his flipping of the traditional toddler rallying cry of “Mine!” to “It’s not yours!”.  My son is a poet.  An orator.  A master of communication.  So, his thoughts on language and the building blocks thereof should be taken very, very seriously.

Except for that time he said “Shit!”.  Let’s just ignore that. And it’ll never happen again  Particularly after we make S a number.

Mama's Losin' It

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8 comments for “Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop

  1. April 8, 2010 at 8:03 am

    Our language is so strange that I don’t think anyone would really mind if we just went with your son’s version. I’m not really all that attached to the letter S, anyway. 🙂

  2. April 8, 2010 at 9:25 am

    You had me at “master of communication.” I am totally going to have to use that line sometime. Had me laughing out loud.

    Suggestion: If we are taking out the letter S, I think we should go the distance and do the same with the letter F. My kids have heard me slip up far to many times.

  3. April 8, 2010 at 9:54 am

    This was hysterical!!

    Joanna

  4. April 8, 2010 at 10:13 am

    Thank you for the morning laugh! I’m not all that attached to S either. Motion to remove it permanently?

  5. April 8, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    I found you on MamaKat’s Writer’s Workshop and I LOVE your blog name. Great choice. As a jen I feel the same way. I checked out a number of your posts and About Me section and I’m a fan. Great writing and my kind of gal! Keep up the good work. You’ve got a new fan (subscribed by FB).

  6. April 8, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    I never really gave much thought to the alphabet… but I can see why you do now! I totally agree with Q… and moving S to the numbers side… well, that is just crazy talk!

    Love it 🙂

  7. April 9, 2010 at 3:21 am

    Hah! There is one genius speaking! Loved your (and your sons) thoughts on the alphabet. Especially since I have no ‘s’ in my (real) name. Cute-uite convenient 🙂

  8. April 9, 2010 at 10:30 am

    You know…two year olds have some profound things come out of their mouth. I think we should get rid of the letter c. We already have K and we already have S…what other function does C serve?? I mead seriously. Cookie, Kookie….it’s all the same. Hmmmmm

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