May I call you Sandy? I feel like I should be able to call you Sandy. I want to tell you that I am totally behind you right now. I have your back. Because? You are so great.
I’m not the most loyal fan out there. It’s possible I haven’t seen any movies you’ve made after about 2001 but I will stop what I’m doing to watch movies like While You Were Sleeping and Miss Congeniality when they come on tv. I even saw Speed in the theatre despite my deep and abiding loathing of Keanu Reeves (though “Shoot the hostage” is one of my favorite movie lines ever and the name of a band some friends had in college). I’m totally planning to see The Blind Side now that we have the DVD in the house. I’m gonna get to it real soon, I promise. Because I really, really like you even though you made some lapses of judgment over the years, Like Speed 2. And Matthew McConaughey. But I will love you forever because once you answered the question “What will you never wear?” by laughing out loud and saying “A size two!” LOVE that.
So, Sandy, I was shocked and appalled when I heard about Jesse and his Fiesta de la Skanks. How could he do that to you? And how could those women do that to you? It’s not cool to lay hands on another person’s spouse’s naughty bits. NOT COOL AT ALL. And it had to hurt like hell when you found out Jesse was spreading his special brand of douchery all over the place.
And now you tell us that you adopted a baby boy and ZOMG he is sooooo cute! Congratulations, Sandy! You are going to be a spectacular mother. You know I how I know that? Because you made the best parenting choice you could by filing for divorce and taking steps to raise your son in a douche-free environment. Jesse is not the kind of male role model your little boy needs in his life. Little Louis deserves someone honest and kind and so do you. But you knew that already, didn’t you? You must have because you aren’t being all “Maybe he’ll change” and dithering around about whether or not to exit a broken marriage. No, you got your lawyers on the phone, gave Louis your last name, and said you can’t imagine your life without Jesse’s older kids in it. I bet those lawyers are telling Jess in no uncertain terms that he’s gonna have to STEP and make sure you can see your step-children for as long as they are happy to see you. You seem like that kind of mama-wolf who protects her young. That rocks. Really. It does. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
I hope you’re up to your neck in burp cloths and bottles and baby giggles right now and aren’t listening to the dumb things people are going to say about you. You waited four years to get Louis into your life and you should be rolling around in the awesomeness of the first months with a baby. There’s really nothing like it. I hope you have good girlfriends around you to tell you about Hyland’s Teething Tablets, and Mylicon drops and lend you their Jumperoo to make sure he likes it before you buy one of your own. I hope your sister is doing her duties as aunt and buying Louis inappropriately fancy clothes. I hope you have a great pediatrician to call with questions.
In short, I hope you’re getting to live out the new mom life because it’s just so great.
Brava, Sandy. You’re an example of how to do Hollywood right, how to be the kind of woman who won’t take garbage from a good-for-nothing spouse, and, hopefully soon, we’ll see for sure that you’re the kind of mom that we all know you can be to little Louis.
Good luck and know that the sleep deprivation ends eventually!